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The writer again mentions persuasion before the conclusion of the essay With these features he can persuade the auidence because people dont know why darkness can be good for us , but once again, there is no explanation of how or why these features are persuasive. Writing—1 : This response demonstrates little cohesion and inadequate skill in the use and control of language. The response also lacks a recognizable introduction and conclusion, and sentences are strung together without a clear progression of ideas for much of the response, the writer merely lists claims Bogard makes.
The response also lacks variety in sentence structures, in part because of repetitive transitions.
For example, he also claims is used two sentences in a row in this brief response. Weak control of the conventions of standard written English, coupled with vague word choice, undermine the quality of writing. Overall, this response has demonstrated inadequate writing skill. Paul Bogard builds a very persuasive argument to persuade his audience that natural darkness should be preserved.
Bogard uses many features such as touch, feeling, seeing or even our own senses. One of the senses Bogard uses within his essay is touch. He concludes that many species depend on the darkness. Darkness tends to evolve all over the world for a variety of things. Another sense that Bogard uses is feeling. He compares the rythm into which light and dark days exist.
Many medical centers have concluded that are bodies need darkness to produce many different hormones and to continue with processes to keep us alive. Paul shows how many different characteristics affect how important darkness is to a human body.
I think that this topic Bogard uses appeals to emotion to many different religious groups. Giving evidence of a historical artist Van Gogh adds a lot of emotion to this particular essay. Comparing how cities and towns across the world are changing thier ways of light is going to be wasted.
He uses a lot of evidence with emotion. Providing a variety of different examples on how darkness should be perserved gives a lot of power to the ideas that are expressed. Reading—2 : This response demonstrates some understanding of the source text. Analysis—1: This writer provides a limited analysis of the source text. However, the writer is unable to express how Bogard uses these elements specifically.
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For example, in the first paragraph, the writer claims that One of the senses Bogard uses within his essay is touch, but none of the ensuing discussion relates to touch at all. Instead, the writer merely goes on to summarize that Bogard concludes that many species depend on the darkness. The writer seems to have a sense of the form that analysis should take, but this response demonstrates ineffective analysis overall.
Writing—2 : This response demonstrates limited cohesion and skill in the use and control of language. In this essay, organization and language errors such as syntactically awkward sentences and sentence fragments detract from the quality of the writing and often impede understanding, leading to a score of 2.
Bogard begins his argument by first providing a story from his personal experience, appealing to the reader by adding imagery. This example gives Bogard a sense of voice and his use of comparison is definitely effective. Not cancer! Reading—2: This writer demonstrates some comprehension of the passage. However, this is the last evidence of understanding the writer provides, as the essay ends almost immediately afterward. Overall, the writer has demonstrated partial understanding of the source text. Analysis—2: The response offers some limited analysis of the source text, demonstrating partial understanding of the analytical task.
However, the writer does not elaborate on this point. In each instance of analysis in this short response, the writer identifies the use of evidence or rhetorical features, but asserts rather than explains the importance of those elements. Overall, this response demonstrates partially successful analysis. Writing—2: This response demonstrates limited cohesion and some skill in the use of language.
Although the writer offers a central claim that guides the essay, there is no indication of an introduction or conclusion to frame ideas. Overall, sentences are clear and the writer generally observes the conventions of standard written English. However, by the end of this short response, the writer has deviated from a formal style and objective tone Oh, no! On the whole, this response offers some evidence of cohesion and control of language. Bogard builds his arguement in a few different ways. By using a personal story Bogard allows his audience to connect to him. If his audience can relate or even understand his story they will be more willing to agree with him.
In his personal story Bogard uses great imagery making the audience picture what he saw and maybe make them want to experience it too. By stating this people who are younger then 35 might feel that they were robbed of the oppurtunity to experience the real beauty of natural darkness. This would proably help his younger audience to agree with him because they might want the chance to see the real beauty of natural darkness. Bogard writes about the benefits that natural darkness actually produces.
In the article he talks about how darkens actually helps the body produce a hormone that keeps certain cancers from developing.
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He also includes how darkness helps and is neccessary for certain animals. These examples will help his audience see that he is arguing for some benefical for people. This also helps appeal to an audience that might not care for the beauty of darkness but care for their own personal health. Bogard uses different features in order to persuade his audience. The different features also help him in appealing to a broader audience. Reading—3 : This response demonstrates effective understanding of the passage, with increasing evidence as the response continues.
In the next paragraph, the writer cites and discusses a generational claim that Bogard makes, again demonstrating comprehension. Nevertheless, in this example and others like it in the response, the writer exhibits effective analysis of the source text using relevant and sufficient support. Writing—3 : This essay is mostly cohesive and demonstrates mostly effective control of language.
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The essay then follows a clear, if formulaic, format. By stating this Sentence structure is varied, and some precise phrasing is used to convey ideas robbed of the oppurtunity , their own personal health. Language control on the whole is good, although there are a few minor errors These examples will help his audience see that he is arguing for some benefical for people that do not detract materially from the quality of writing.
Overall, the response demonstrates proficient writing. Paul Bogard strongly believes that natural darkness should be preserved. In order to prove the need for natural darkness, Bogard divides his argument into three main topics, saying that natural darkness is beneficial to humans, essential to humans, and essential to ecosystems. According to Bogard, natural darkness can be a positive help to humans. One of the ways it can accomplish this is by giving enjoyment to onlookers. To supplant this, Bogard gives a personal example of how he enjoyed seeing meteors dart across the night sky in Minnesota as a child.
Also he states that natural darkness can be a source of solitude. Supporting this claim, Bogard states that darkness is invaluable to every religion. Additionally Bogard says that the night sky has inspired countless numbers of philosophers, artists, and stargazers for millennia. Bogard then gives a scientific case that shows why natural darkness is essential to humans. He points to the necessity of darkness in producing melatonin, a hormone that helps prevent certain cancers from developing in the human body.
Bogard then concludes his argument that darkness is essential to human well-being by analyzing sleep. He first makes the obvious claim that darkness is essential for sleep. Then, he talks about the negative health effects of sleep disorders. He notes that there are a variety of nocturnal and crepuscular species of birds, fish, mammals, insects, and reptiles worldwide.
He gives two specific, well-known examples of these species; these discussed the species of North American birds that migrate at night and the sea turtles that lay their eggs on the shore at night. He also gives a couple of lesser-known examples, involving bats and moths that show the positive actions that some nocturnal animals perform. He then concludes his argument for nocturnal darkness necessary to nature with persuasion, saying that removing natural darkness would essentially destroy an ecology that took billions of years to develop.
Here, Bogard uses scientific fact to prove that natural darkness is a key to nature and ecology. Paul Bogard supports the preservation of natural darkness. He uses an argument to support his position that has three primary points—benefit to humans, need for humans and need for nature.
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